Mordorski's Miracles & Moments: Happy First Heavenly Birthday Abby

After enjoying a wonderful Christmas, my heart became a little heavy because I knew we were going to be celebrating what would have been Abby's first birthday. It was easier this year than last year, but not because we don't miss and love her, because we've just learned how to live a new normal.

I still think of her daily and love her just as I love Owen and Hattie. Sometimes I wonder what she would be like - would she look like Owen or Hattie or have a completely different look of her own. Would she be starting to walk yet or still be crawling?

Up until the past few weeks, we've not talked about Abby in front of Owen. We didn't know if he'd understand. He has a better understanding of heaven now, so when the other day, out of the blue, he walked up to a photo that's been on our shelf for a year and asked, "Mom, what does A-B-B-Y spell?" I decided to be honest with him and told him that before I had Hattie, I had a baby in my tummy that died and went to heaven to be with God. He took it a lot better than I expected. He asked a few questions, like "Did she eat something that made her die?" and "Did she die in your tummy?" but overall, was very accepting of it.

Since Owen understood that it would have been Abby's first birthday, we decided to make Abby a birthday cake so she knows how much we love her. We let Owen choose the frosting and the sprinkles and this is what his masterpiece ended up looking like.